I consider myself a vibrator connoisseur and, as such, I’m always interested in new products. When I read that Good Housekeeping U.K. would be publishing it’s first-ever review of vibes, my heart skipped a beat. They invited 100 women to test a variety of products and rate the…

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Your words set in motion

six months of savory days and

liquid nights that poured over me like icing

On a gingerbread house.

 

Stories rolled off your tongue

like Maypole ribbons, and I tethered

myself to your… Read full post »

First of all, I hate novelty gifts.  They seem pointless to me.  I mean, really, how many times can a pooping pig induce true belly laughs.  I look at Whoopee cushions, toilet seat outhouse decals, and racing grannies with disbelief—who are these people who shell out $15 f… Read full post »

The steel gray drape of my depression parts and

I catch a brief glimpse of

clouds holding fuchsia among the azure hills.

On the horizon, my hopes are piled like coats on a feather down bed

It is my mind that damns… Read full post »

If you posed that question six months ago, the bells would have rung, and I’d go home with all the prizes because the answer would have been me.  We have every age-appropriate book ever written on the subjects of sex and the human body, and I’ve always answered my 12-year-old…

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Several weeks ago, I posted  a piece on the nightmare experiences that transpired after I placed a personal ad in the New York Review of Books.  I wrote of one man who sent me his "Intimacy Test;" since then, I've received numerous questions about the exact specifics of thi… Read full post »

Rescue me

from victim’s guilt, memories spilt

that reside in a cocoon of shame demanding to be fed.

They thunder like giants in my mind-field,

each step carrying the grim vibrations of shadowy moments.

And I am in a holding pattern… Read full post »

Here’s my dirty secret.  I once dated a clown.  Now in my defense, I didn’t know he was gaga about greasepaint when I accepted his dinner invitation.  He told me that he worked at a Children’s Hospital—it was only later that I found out he was the Residen…

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  As promised, here is my review of my favorite vibe.  I'm not a paid spokesperson for it, but I love it so much it just seems wrong not to share.

 After I used the Eroscillator for the first time, I actually called the owners of my favorite sex shop to thank them/… Read full post »

I'm working on a new book and I'm hoping my OS friends will help out.  Specifically I'm looking for your list of  10 things that turn you on and off sexually.  I'm also looking for people (all genders) to interview, so PM me if you are interested.  To get the conversation… Read full post »

 

Be forewarned, I’m in a snarky snit over an author and I hate, hate, hate to stuff-her in silence.  I’m not going to name names, but I am going to seethe a bit. 

 I love writing about sex and sensuality, and so I’m naturally… Read full post »

 

 

You’re breathing heavily, buttons are coming undone, and the temperature is definitely rising when he asks, “So, how many other guys have you “been” with?”  What is about men wanting to quantify everything from the number of tools in their g… Read full post »

I leave you clues and speak in candid whispers

But you mistake them for girlish pillow talk.

And I am sidelined again,

shoulders sagging under the weight of my cargo.

Do you not hear the tension exploding like a pistol?

 … Read full post »

Apparently nobody told vibrator manufacturers that a rose is a rose is rose because they keep coming up with disguises and multi-tasking models. In some areas of my life, I love dual-purpose products.  I’m thrilled to learn from the good folks at Real Simple that rubbing alcohol removes ba… Read full post »

A garden of petals trail behind you

as you move to sweep me off my feet.

 

But I’m not made of air tonight.

I’m armed and dangerous

looking for a worthy gladiator

to mount the swells of passion.

 … Read full post »

While phone sex comes naturally to some women, others find it to be worst kind of aural exam. “Will I sound silly?”  “Am I doing it right?”  “What if he starts laughing instead of panting?”  Only you can determine if this is the spice your rel…

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Put me in a stationery store and I’m ecstatic.  I finger thick vellum cards and imagine brown ink flowing like caramel toffee; I long to decorate the pages with wandering strokes, fine-tuned flourishes, and well-mannered spacing.  My mouth waters at the cursive… Read full post »

 

We sprayed the room with our anger

realizing  it is one of the few possessions

that we share.

I bring a spoonful of secrets to your lips

but they blistered your tongue.

 

Slouching like the damp feather pillow… Read full post »

Let’s be honest--women are complicated.  It’s as true for our eroticism as it is for our emotions.  Sometimes no matter what men do, the thrill flickers and then it’s gone. They take the familiar route, but inexplicably, this time the clitoris is the … Read full post »

 

We sit across a table,

a gloved hand arranges objects

forged out of heat—crystal, china, silver.

A perfect setting for mind quests, loving jests, secrets confessed.

But the bantering cantor of past conversation

is gone, replaced by the slow… Read full post »

As an occasional reviewer of sex-related products, I sometimes find “surprise” packages at my front door. Two weeks ago I received a nondescript cardboard box, but the content was anything but ordinary. What did I discover when I rummaged through the tissue paper? The cone vibrator. … Read full post »

It was a head-on collision without a proper introduction

the way we met.

Certain that it was destiny

pioneered by past lives,

we were children on a tilt-a-wheel

dizzy and in constant revolution.

 

Adrift in our primal… Read full post »

Certain words I dread (“We need to schedule two more dental appointments”) while others I would kill to hear (“Ann Coulter’s physician confirms sex-change operation”).

And then there are statements that defy imagination, such as; “My husband gave me the… Read full post »

 

I’ve come masked to this carnival of confidences.

“That’s the problem,” she says.

The Harlequin and  Hellequin

have no place at this operating table.”

 

I think about leaving, but then remembering

that I have a lifetime membership,… Read full post »

Ten years ago I moved to a new city and was experiencing a dearth of “gentleman callers.” Internet dating wasn’t quite the rage it is now—Personal Ads, carefully placed, were the drudge of choice. I was hesitant but horny and the latter wore down my resistance.&nbs… Read full post »