Hello all!

     Ok, I had just typed in an hour and a half's worth of stuff, then hit the save and preview button.  This directed me to sign in.  I thought I was already signed in?  Ok, so started doing that.  It told me that name was already taken - guess cuz I was already a member.......long story short, I couldn't get back to where I'd been and lost the whole thing.

     Well, it's not the first time such things happen to me.  I used to have internal meltdowns about stuff like this, but now just shrug and say to myself that I put something in there that wasn't meant to be "put out there."  That's life and it happens to all of us every now and then. 

Perhaps that ninety minutes was meant to be personal therapy just for me alone.  A free-dump writing session.  Maybe the next blog I type in will have more finesse or be more concise or be more appealing to readers, etc.  I've found there's always a reason for everything.  My mother always told me that if God didn't give you what you wanted, asked for, prayed for, then it was because He has a better plan for you.  I'm not religious anymore (not because I don't believe what my Mum said! Lol!)  Nor do I believe in God quite the same way I did before I was about 15 years old, but I am still spiritual and believe in higher powers.  I also still find my Mum's advice holds true.

     One day I may know the reason why my first attempt did not get saved nor posted.  Today I have the chance to get this one on.  I don't believe I'll get read right away or even for quite awhile.  I do have perseverance though so I'm here to stay! Lol!  Some may call it stubbornness - it works for me when I apply it to my goal-setting...... 

     A little quick background here: my first born, Geoff, has PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified).  It's an Autistic Spectrum disorder (don't agree with the word disorder though).  The government requires the parents of children with any kind of long-term handicap to re-prove  to them that they are indeed still the same person the day they turn 18 years old.  I am a single Mum of three and have not received any financial assistance since January, 2010 for my son.  Neither can he work.  The school system tells me he's "allowed" to stay in high school until he is 21.  Trouble is they don't tell you what happens after that.  They also don't really do much in the way of stimulating "Special Needs" children properly and holistically, in my humble opinion.

     So, I've been going through hoops trying to re-prove that my son is living on the spectrum or "under the rainbow" or whatever people choose to call it.  I am an Aspie myself (I have Asperger's Syndrome or AS for short).  It took many years of living with my son to realize that I was also on the spectrum.  What's ironic is that I'd been trying so hard to figure out what had always been different about me that I didn't see the forest for the trees at first.  The higher powers really had to knock me on the head with a proverbial hammer before I picked up on that one......

    Anyways, this is a chronicle of my journey, past, present and future.  I have not achieved the level of success I desire on many levels, but I do find that the journey has been rewarding in so many ways.  I would still like to see ideal results, but I no longer EXPECT them.  I still put efforts in but no longer expect to reap a definite reward or result.  This has been a much healthier attitude for me.  It's saved me a  lot of the anguish, self-pity and - let's face it - disappointment and self-torture I used to go through, i.e. put myself through.

     It would be great if you join me as I recount my adventures, post about current events and dream about a better life (yes, hope keeps me alive).  I like to think hope is an eternal spring instead of repeating the expression "hope springs eternal."

     I've overcome many obstacles, have some speed bumps to negotiate now, and for certain, will have many more to come.  I invite you to come along for the ride.  Hopefully, we can be of mutual assistance to one  another.  Maybe, we will merely commiserate.  Perhaps we may even get together eventually and collaborate on a project of my dreams - to open a not-for-profit center for higher functioning teens and adults on the Autistic Spectrum (and even those who are simply socially inept or phobic).  I want this because, while I recognize that early detection and intervention are vital to helping our kids with Autism, I've also seen firsthand how labelling and coding in the school system negatively affects our children.  My son is now 18 years old and I feel he's missed out on so many opportunites I had because I didn't know I wasn' t neurotypical.  I had to struggle through it alone, yes.  There were disadbantages, yes. 

     It's my sincere hope that you'll all find my son's and my experiences helpful when choosing what path you want to take with your child's or even your own development and evolution.  I'll be contrasting our journies and I'll do my best to make it as interesting and informative as possible.  I'll be putting in my opinions as to how one way of doing things might have advantages over another.  Please keep in mind that these are my opinions.  I leave the choices up to you.  What I've done with my life may not work for you.  The decisions I've made concerning my son and (yes) myself have not necessarily been the right ones.  I've always felt that the best relationships are the ones where both parties are both teacher and student for one another.  I hope we can have an exchange of ideas and energies that are both enlightening and rewarding for one another.  Thanks for being out there and listening.  I hope to return the favour soon.  Thank you again and take care for now.

Anne Marie:)