Eddie was a handsome man but dark and brooding with a distant look in eyes hidden behind aviator style tinted glasses. Our sons were best friends through grade school and Eddie's wife Karen had latched onto me. They lived in a house trailer on 20 acres a few miles away. A… Read full post »

Your love covers me like a blanket

But the sorrow seeps through and tears burn my eyes

The space you left empty

A hole in my heart which will never heal

Your smile and grace knew no bounds

Your art laid in your works

A path never to grow over

There… Read full post »

Pretty much all through my 9 1/2 month first pregnancy I was the vomit queen, the funky blowin chunky diva. Probably a good thing, I'd a gained 75 pounds instead of only 50. The year was 1988 and I was one hot hurling mess.

My olfaction had intensified and run completely amuck… Read full post »

We know change is inevitable, but the mind holds fast to what is known and remains anticipatory of the future. I liken my mind to a caged animal at times when I'm under stress. The different types of stress affect me differently emotionally but often the physical side effects are the… Read full post »

More than just an ordinary dog, Max is my buddy, my pooch, my every dog all in one. So when Trig said he wanted to go camping, my brain wailed "but what about my dog???" I was mortified, now what? I had no one left at… Read full post »

As the clock ticks down to some yet unknown date, this date being the date when I can list and sell this house I'm living in.

Yea, that date...

And yes, there is sufficient work to be done prior.

Sorting, organizing, liquidating...

Windows washed, several rooms painted, carpet shampooed...

I… Read full post »

What follows is the eulogy my daughter read at her Grandma's service last week. When I got divorced in 1998, my mom stepped in to help. Angilese was 10 at the time. 

I’m not sure why, but whenever I’ve missed my grandma I always picture her hands. … Read full post »

Read full post »

sitting by your side

eyes transfixed on your face

taking in your soft light

the small bones of your hands with skin stretched thin

the hands that guided me

the heart that loves me

I watch the delicate bones in your chest

rise and fall

faster

the faint rattle becoming… Read full post »

Read full post »

Not sure that I've ever had a major success as a gardener. And this is so far the closest I've come to a well tended garden. Gardening is a commitment! The garden plot is at my beloved's and has been a fun summer project. He waters… Read full post »

A call to my cell at 2:30 am this morning jarred me from a fitful sleep. My mom, calling from her bedroom downstairs, had fallen out of bed. I pulled on some shorts and a t-shirt and headed downstairs. There she sat, somewhat perpendicular to her bed, legs splayed… Read full post »

It was a slow shift I never saw coming, the loss of daughterness. I have shape-shifted into a caregiver and my path back to daughterdom has grown over with weeds. I need to be the daughter, the doting daughter who visits and sits to chat for awhile over a cup of… Read full post »

(in my mother's voice)

to sit and wait and watch

to wait for time to pass

wait for the nurse

to bring more blood

another's blood 

is there someone who needs it more? 

it just goes to waste

I watch it drip into me

I feel… Read full post »

A week ago last Friday I blasted out of my renovation lending ConEd class to get packed for the camping trip you may have read about on trig's blog:  On having to give a SS number etc..  Really, a bizarre start to a strange night at the lake with the… Read full post »

We have made it, the boy is grown. Smart and responsible, his brain stuck on the logical but wrestling constantly with the human condition. He is a deep thinker, deeper than I know, too quiet to share. He has intuitive vision, sees things that others miss,… Read full post »

All of my babysitters were dancers. Carol, Kathy and Sandy, all sisters, and Wendy, the girl with the long straight black hair; we often danced and cartwheeled about the house, collapsing in heaps of giggles. We wore black scoop neck leotards over pink tights,… Read full post »

The sorrel foal came into the world looking skeletal, totally famished from his journey. His dam, a 15 year old Thoroughbred brood mare, lay exhausted in the straw.

  At day 1, too tall to walk under his dam!

  Here we are… Read full post »

Sugar and spice and everything nice - that's what little girls are made of... Snips and snails and puppy dog tails - that's what little boys are made of.

I am blessed to have a one of each, my girl, a girlie girl in many ways, cooks, knits… Read full post »

 The flower unfolds

 Irises are up

 Clematis

No clue

 The family dog Max

  My niece and two nephews. Personalities exposed!

My son on the… Read full post »

My Mom was a dance teacher for 27 years and I love the Nut Cracker Ballet.  The following songs bring back vivid memories of sequins and tulle.

The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy is my fav but I also love the Russian Dance, Arabian Dance (watch this one, wonderful… Read full post »

  Antonio CANOVA (1757 – 1822)
Two intertwined bodies for Hylas and a Nymph?
Red chalk on paper
Eb 105.1116
Bassano del Grappa, Museo Civico

By design

 Breath and bodies intertwine

Time and space just

Slip away while

Essence of taste is… Read full post »

life as a journey into there

bouncing off the gosh darn walls

stumbling blindly

maybe finding

somewhere new

fumble for the light

still to see what lay beyond

am i heading in or out?… Read full post »