Arthur Louis's Blog

Arthur Louis

Arthur Louis
Location
USA
Birthday
February 28
Title
retired
Company
retired
Bio
I was a writer and editor for more than forty years with four newspaper and magazine publishers. I am the author of two non-fiction books: "The Tycoons" and "Journalism and Other Atrocities," and one novel, "The Little Champ," all available on Amazon.com

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Salon.com
APRIL 28, 2012 2:20PM

Have a Simulated Abortion and Help the Economy

Rate: 6 Flag

A couple of weeks ago I reported here that the Obama Healthcare Act expands a woman’s abortion rights by allowing so-called post-birth abortions. Women not only will be allowed to abort unborn children in the womb, but also children who are born alive. The rule applies not only to newborn babies, but to any child a woman has had, no matter the child’s age. Even adults.

(See http://open.salon.com/blog/artlouis/2012/04/11/abortion_the_next_generation) 

I predicted that post-birth abortions would profoundly change the nature of parent-child relationships. Children of all ages will be far more likely to treat their mothers, though perhaps not their fathers, with the deepest respect. As a result, at least some modern-day mothers may come to like or even love their children, rather than considering them intolerable nuisances who interfere with undistinguished careers.

I discovered this hitherto unpublicized feature of Obamacare while idly skimming through the 2,700-page act. I admit, however, that I couldn’t bring myself to read the whole thing, so I left open the possibility that it might contain other, equally pleasant surprises for the women’s movement.

Sure enough. Although I never did go back to reading the act, which I found to be a torture beyond bearing, I discovered elsewhere that there is yet another abortion-related provision in it designed to attract the votes of women, or at least those who don’t stay at home with children.

Under the act, women may now receive full reimbursement for in utero abortions that are performed at a time when they are not actually pregnant. The common term for such procedures is “empty-womb abortions”.  

EWAs may be performed because of incorrect diagnoses after a pregnancy test. But such cases are  extremely rare. The main purpose of an EWA is symbolic, allowing non-pregnant women to display solidarity with their poor, unfortunate sisters who do in fact become pregnant.  

I found out about EWAs while reading an article on the Web site of the esteemed humanitarian organization Planned Non-Parenthood. I didn’t go to that site intentionally. I got shunted there after making a misguided entry on Google. Frankly, I was looking to find a date for the evening with a woman who was “soul-less” and “amoral.” After keying those words, along with the word “women,” into Google, I wound up, mysteriously, on the Planned Non-Parenthood Web site.

After scanning that site, I lost any interest in a date for the evening, but I did feel that I had come up with some juicy material for my blog.

Planned Non-Parenthood, which makes most of its money by destroying real, non-fictional embryos, has decided to get into the EWA field as well. For a mere $50, entirely covered by insurance under Obamacare, you can get a phantom abortion at any PNP clinic. You are prepped as you would be for a genuine abortion, but the procedure is entirely non-invasive. The doctor and his technicians merely mime an abortion. Even a man, who perhaps has been trying in vain to appease some feminist, can have this kind of abortion. 

For an extra $100, you can have a fake abortion that is somewhat invasive. The doctor makes a pass through your womb with a sterile instrument, but there is no cutting or scraping, and no blood is drawn.

For $500, you can get an EWA with all the bells and whistles. Scraping, bleeding, pain, an extended recovery period, possible infections and a feeling of deep depression.

Here is how PNP advertises its new service:

“You have the constitutional right to an abortion, and you should exercise it, whether you need to or not. Think of all those women out there who get pregnant, the poor dears. Come in here for an EWA, to show these women that you stand – or perhaps lie -- with them.”

As an added inducement, PNP is offering its EWA customers a free T-shirt, a $20 value, proclaiming: “I Love Abortions Even More than I Love Men”.

Caterers have been quick to pick up on this new development. Some of them have discreetly offered their services in the past for post-abortion parties, and now they are beginning to cater to celebrants who have had empty-womb abortions as well.

Who now will dare to say that President Obama has never come up with an idea that helps the economy?

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Comments

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No fetus can beat us.

A brave new world.
Abortion is part of the Me Me Me Me generation. If you have ever spoken with someone who had an elective abortion and then regretted it deeply, it is heart wrenching. You can feel the pain coming from their words. I have heard these laments numerous times. In the Roe v Wade era, abortion equaled freedom for females. But the sentence it imposed on the unborn has never been addressed by the courts. Rated.
And if that doesn't work, let us all dine on Irish children! ;)

Your writing amuses me. R & F
Corso, it is a high honor to be praised by a Swiftian.
This is pretty funny. Good work.
thanks, kosher. nice to see you here. i like your double-edged nom de plume.