OCTOBER 24, 2010 2:28AM


Rate: 17 Flag

October 21, 2010 is the official quit date. I quit smoking and there is no way in hell I will ever pick up another cigarette.

As many of you may know, my dad died of lung cancer in 06. My mom remarried a year ago today and we found out last week that he has lung cancer. He quit smoking more than 40 yrs ago. But as messed up as it is, I kept smoking. Sure, I wanted to quit but I needed to smoke.

Then on the night of Oct. 21, I was on facebook when my life long friend's husband  popped up in a chat window and said, "Hey, I just thought you might want to know that D just found out he has lung cancer."

D is a mutual friend of ours and he quit smoking 8 yrs ago. That is too close. I was rattled. Shaken. Depressed. I handed Savage Husband my pack of cigarettes and tearfully pointed to the chat window. Then I said "Rip 'em up. I'm done." 

I am at day 2. I have had some cravings but this time my conviction is greater than any jones can ever be. 

I want to live.

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You go girl! My father died of lung cancer, I held him in my arms as the light went out, down to eighty pounds from a healthy, life long muscular man.

I have a new friend that smoked for forty years that quit with some sort of drug regimen......weaned her off.

My aunt quit after at least forty years with "Smoke Enders."

Dunno any details about these programs, but they worked. I wish like hell that I could get my husband, a forty year smoker, to just friggin' TRY!

The thing that I know for sure, and that saddens me, is that you can never put a fire into anyone else's belly, be it fire to pursue their art or passion, or to stop something that they are addicted to. The fire, the will, the passion, is always internal.

Again, you go girl. Make it work. I am sending you SO much good energy and love!
Congratulations for wanting to quit....now really do it!!!! (For your sake, and for your loved ones.)
Outstanding! I have missed reading you, all my fault. Grand to read you again, strength and peace. To Life!
aka Rutilus
Wonderful. I saw what tobacco did to my father, and it wasn't pretty.
Hurray!! You go girl!!! ~huge hug~ Want you around for a long time!!!!!!
Keep it going. Keep that nugget of dread and panic-fear inside and never too suppressed. Rated for brave.
My best wishes to you for this. Quitting some 25 years ago was the toughest thing I ever did.
Good for you! Here's to your new out look and healthy lifestyle.
Best Wishes,
I really hope you can do it. I went on the patch last month and quit for a week. Then, 2 or 3 a day. Now it's half a pack. I'm going to start again after reading this!
I know you'll succeed. I quit several years ago after smoking 1 1/2 packs a day. You won't realize how awful you've been feeling until the cloud is lifted and you'll feel so much better!!!
It gets easier to the point that you forget that you ever smoked.
Bravo. As much as its an addiction, the foundation for changing the habit of smoking is mental - at least it was for me. Once I truly felt, "I'm not a smoker. I don't want to be a smoker." A great deal of the battle was already won for me. Notice I didn't say "I don't want to smoke." Because there were times I did, but I preferred the image of myself as a non-smoker, an athlete, a healthy person that I could better respect and those self-images got me off that bad habit. I also replaced the habit of smoking with other activities. You can do it! The scariest thing about cigarettes is that they are Russian Roulette. Dr.s say it could be the cigarette you had in college that triggers the chain reaction that causes cancer or the next one you light. You just don't know. Look at your friend's husband and Dana Reeves. You have my support and confidence in you.
Just keep repeating your last 4 words: I want to live.

You'll also save a ton of money!

Congratulations! You can do it.
First of all...YAY YOU! Second of all, take advantage of any and all support you can. Thirdly...YAY YOU! Where the heck have you been? I have a doll I need to discuss with you.
Hopefully not smoking will inspire you to hang out here more - there's a scary story open call right now - care to repost? xoxo
YOU GUYS! Y'all are so great! I never expected so much support! I'm all warm and fuzzy feeling! Tonight will be a full 3 days and GOING STRONG! I have the craving and I mentally bite the shyte out of it and sling it like a dog till it runs off with it's tail between it's legs! I will make it, I have absolutely no doubt.

Ginny - keep sending the energy, I may need it in a few days. I feel a bit sleepy w/o the nicotine, but that too will eventually pass.

Kim - Do you mean to say you are quitting also? Or that you already have?

Patricia - yes indeed

Rutilus - I have missed reading and writing as well. I got railroaded by life for a minute but I'm getting my strength back as evidenced by making this huge change in my life!

Patrick H - Yes, I also watched my father wither away. I am holding onto hope for D. His condition sounds grim but I will get the official word tonight.

Tink - hug back! Thanks!
Jonathan - I know what you mean, can't let it go or I could begin to [irrationally] reason with myself that I don't need to quit or something. I am focused on it this time and I won't take that focus away until the deed is done.

Matt - it has been really tough for me in the past, but this time it seems almost easy.

Blittie - Thanks!
Gary - no slip ups. I can't. I won't. I have failed too many times before to allow myself to even enjoy the secondhand smoke coming from the car in front of me while I sit in traffic.

SCANNER - I couldn't wait to get to your comment. Do try it again. I find the patch works pretty well. But when a long time friend who is sitting on the fence right beside you get's struck by lightening, it's time to move off that fence. Different things motivate us to see it through and I hope you can make it this time.

Antoinette - I hope so. It sure would be nice to not have that little bird chirping in my throat. Sort of scaring me.

O-Steph - That will be great!

Graham - You are absolutely right on with that. It was so hard for me to quit because it was part of my self image. But when I heard the news about my friend, I saw myself image in a new way - as a coffin. That was all I needed to see to turn me away from smoking.
Proud - I shall do exactly that!

Aim - Thank you and I got a new one - spooky story, that is. I am polishing it up a bit, then I will post it.
I Agree with Proud and Progressive, Keep repeating those 4 words
"I Want to live"
Write them down and carry them with you like an American Express Card
Dont leave home without them.
You Can Do It.
I'm Rooting for You
Yay for you! I am only sending good thoughts your way..
Good for you...

I quit 2 years ago and struggled to do so, but over that time i tried a cigg about 3-4 times and all time i almost got sick the moment i tried.

Its hard but you have motivation.

My foster mom died in Feb 22,2010 on feb 1, 2010 she was diagnosed with lung cancer. in 22 days she got so ill and passed. The point i want to make is that its a fast killer, but you are taking the right steps in making a good change.

I never got a chance to tell her that i did quit because she asked me to. but i know she is there to support my choice as an angel.

You can do and you will prevail. keep up the good work.