August 30
I'm just ... me. And this quote, from John le Carre, really resonates with me: "Coming home from very lonely places, all of us go a little mad: whether from great personal success, or just an all-night drive, we are the sole survivors of a world no one else has ever seen."


AnniThyme's Links
SEPTEMBER 25, 2009 1:51AM

Thoughts on endearments

Rate: 15 Flag

(Although this started out as an explanation to one particular person, it turned into a plea into my friends; we are all human here. See the question at the very end.)

Through most of my dating and relationship life, I've had my fair share of pet names. They have spanned from the conventional to the downright bizarre. (And no, I'm not sharing those here.)

I don't know why, fully, I am not a huge fan of the term "babe". (Sweetie I'm totally okay with though? Why is that?) So, I'm going to try to talk it out ...

Maybe it's because I always connote "babe" with that guy who makes the clicking mouth sound, while winking and snapping fingers into the gun symbol (both hands) at you, while also winking. Hairy chest, gold chain, misogyny, bad cologne, and all. Think of a gross stereotypical used-car salesman, or Larry the upstairs neighbor from "Three's Company" - that's the feeling I get.

I'm okay with being called "baby" if I'm in a bad mental state, and just in need nurturing. ("Oh, baby. I'm so, so sorry.") Okay for comfort, but not so much for endearment.

There's also that visceral knee-jerk reaction to being in anyway compared to a baby. Like we don't know what we need, or can't verbalize it, and so we are called baby, or babe. As said, when nurturing is needed, it's okay? But on a day-to-day level, there's just something about the term "babe" that makes my teeth itch. And sometimes, it really IS the tone of voice used when it's being said that goes a long way ... like, whether it is said with love behind it, or derision. (Erhm, derision isn't quite the right word, but that word that means "with less than pure intent, even if only subconsciously."? Help me out here - give me that right word!)

It feels like, I am here to look out for you (like a baby), because I am the man and you are just a weak female.

It borders on that line of feeling - "babe" is felt as insincere even when the person means it as sweet.


(That, and there was a movie, about a pig, by the same name. Babe indeed. Oink-friggin'-oink. Snort snort.)


What terms of endearment do you love, or loathe? And, if you can explain, why? (If not, that's okay - you can just leave the term you love or loathe.)

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Hey, wait till he calls you "Mom"! For a guy, "handsome" is always welcome, even with a bedhead! And "beautiful" for the woman always works. How about that? And Rated, bigtime!
Heh. Thanks Ralph. Actually, my old boss (who was old enough to be MY father), would always call me Mom. And that? I laughed at, and liked.
"Love" is a winner. "Darlin'," said properly, can be fun. All food "endearments" are completely out!
What? Owl? You mean, "my tater tot o'love" is now out of my lexicon? damnit!
I always thought "Hey Shithead" had a sorta nice ring to it, until one day when I looked it up what it meant. Turns out that hollering out "Hey" to get someone's attention is generally considered a tad disrespectful.
BWAH! oh, Mr. E ... yes. Shithead is amazing. But that "hey"? Really does make it sting a bit.
Fluffykins. Long story. Don't ask.
Babe can be can they all, I guess.
My wife calls me asshole, and I call her snookums. It evens everything out.
Well, I call Carl "fag" and he calls me "fag" but that's a gay thing...I hope. If not, then we're a couple of homophones.

When I taught, I used call my students pumpkins like "my little pumpkins are ready to learn today??"

But the best thing someone used to say to me was "hey, you" and he said it in a way that made my heart melt.
sweetie, baby, honey, just don't go callin me no muppet names...
I ask the Future Mrs. Wonderhorse to always refer to as Mahatma. But maybe that's just me.

Rated as always.
Knucks or Wooge worked for us...and what I wouldn't give to hear him say either one more time. Sigh.
I call the missus "honey bear" or sometimes "honey pot."

Babe, incidentally, is one of the greatest movies of all time. Oscar nominated talking pig movies? Hell yeah.
I can't stand babe either. Conjures an image of a Soprano flunky with a tooth pick in his mouth and gold chains around his neck.
I used to laugh at the people who called each other Babe and Baby. And then I joined their ranks. I think I got called by my real name approximately five times in three years: two for the proposal and wedding, and the other three because I'd done something to piss him off.
Well all right then.
This always makes me sad to think about it, but now it feels like the right place to "let it go"...
EW used to call me Shaky; I don't think I need to explain, so I won't. I loved that nickname:
"Hey Shaky, why don't we go to the movies"
"Good morning, Shaky"
"I was just thinking about you, Shaky, and..."
It was always accompanied by a wink and a smile.

I loathe that I cannot love that name anymore.
Thanks for this post Anni, and giving me a chance to send this nickname and its memory away. It's about time.
I just tried out "Smoochiekissykins" on my wife, but she came close to wetting herself laughing.
I think I prefer to call her 'Cariad'. It's Welsh and means beloved or heart...
Cymraeg, I had a Welsh friend that used to call me Cariad. Thank you for bringing back a nice memory.