And the answer is …
Hmm, in case you didn’t know what the question was, Sheepy put out a call asking for us to lie. I am a horrible liar, but I am a great instigator; sometimes my friends can’t tell the difference between me joking and me being serious. So, that darn cute dog asked us to give up two truths and one lie.
From what I have seen thus far, I can only come to the conclusion that Cartouche is psychic. Shit. I’ll have to not emit when I’m on her bit of internet space – who knows what she’ll pick up on!
I cheated just a bit and gave two truths and two lies.
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Since our resident sheepdog has threatened to chew my shoes to smithereens if I don’t participate, here is my offering.
The first lie revealed is that OES did NOT threaten to chew my shoes. (He actually threatened to pee on my couch.)
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There was that one time where I possibly fell out of a plane.
I did fall out of a plane. It was my ex’s birthday and he had always wanted to go skydiving, so as a surprise, I scheduled us to go on a jump. I couldn’t bring myself to actually jump, so I just closed my eyes and fell. We didn’t have time for the classes so tandem it was. My instructor and I were caught in a thermal for about 10 minutes. It was so calm, and beautiful, up there. A hawk was hanging out with us on the same thermal. Needless to say, the ex was slightly miffed that I had a better jump than he did. 
(Photo found on Flickr, by dollie_mixtures)
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It could be that I have broken most of the bones in my body.
This isn’t a full lie – it is true, but it is not true for me. My friend Chris HAS broken almost every single bone in his body. Some of them from motorcycle accidents, some from working in the forestry service, and some from just being a boy. I knock on wood as I type this, but I have never broken a bone (of mine).
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Maybe thousands of people have seen me naked.
This one could be a lie how it’s stated, but it is truth (could be hundreds, could be thousands). When I lived in San Francisco, I was laid off from my job. During some lean times I posed nekkid. Those shots were on the internet. Random people that I knew and some that I didn't would stop me to compliment my, *ahem*, assets and say that they had seen me online.
(Puhleeze! Like I’d show it all again!)
I must admit, this was fun.
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Simon Clark
big fat trauma queen
sueinaz
thebloggess
Unbreakable
ASKaPUNK
Salon.com
Comments
I can never tell who's lying or not.
No au natural shots?? Oh, pooh!!
So whose bones did you break!!
(And there was this one time, while in Little Rock, AR, where I broke my ex's nose ... )
It was all his fault, really! (C'mon - what did he expect? I said, "I have to pee. I'll be right back. Don't touch the computer, I'll finish setting it up in a minute." The next thing I knew was that he tackled me, face first, on the ground and started to tickle me. "Oh? You have to pee? Do you REALLY have to pee?" So I, being face down, fought back as best I could. My head bucked back, and blammo! Nose broken.)
Okay, it's technically cartilage, but still ... he deserved it for trying to force me to pee my pants.
:) Just kidding, it was the sheepdog I saw. With a french poodle!! ;)
(if you've never been in art school, contrary to Hollywood/TV depiction, nubile coeds are not frequently models)