My high school year book fantasy picture!
I Could have been a....
Should have been...
Been there, done that...
What I always wanted to be was a...
Retired men ask this of other retired men
"What did you USED to do?"
Retired woman (my generation) ask:
"What were you"
There comes a time in most of our lives when we look back and think about how our life turned. Who gave us what advice, which road did we take and why? For me that one thing was doing poorly on my SATs. Believe it or not, I skipped about three pages. It was my senior year and so instead of McGill, my first choice, I ended up at University of Massachusetts. That is how I met my first husband.
In retrospect, I married too young and my career ambitions were put on hold. I was now a MRS. By the time my kids were grown, most of dreams were forgotten and I went to "work". It is now, in my 'elder' years that I am free to pursue my dream. I write. I write 30 -40 hours a week. We've already discussed whether or not that qualifies me to be called a writer. At my age, I really don't care what I am called. I am happy to know the difference between a modem and a router.
Do you ever think about your own turning point?
I think the boxer image says it all.
Hope to hear from you.
OLDE ANDE.
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Marianne Spellman
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Comments
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hqdZ4AWSaI
Jmac...I once found a worm in a Hershey's candy bar. Stayed away from chocolate for years.
Erica... never liked typing class. But am I glad that it was a requirement. Sometimes teachers know better.
Jon...me too. I started writing too late. But I had to earn money.
(yesterday's blog).
Deborah...it is those "what ifs" that can drive you nuts. If I had gone to McGill, I probably would have married my Canadian boy friend. He became a Dr. but died very early. Soooo where would I be? It was the damnable SATs that changed the course of my life.
I guess I sometimes wish I had made more an impact on life in general, but in a way I've impacted people and situations in ways that will live on after I am gone.
I love your fantasy picture, Ande!
Whoops that might be too personal. :)
It is great that you now have the time to pursue your writing, we shall all enjoy the reading!
I struggled in jobs I had no interest in for 3-4 years, mainly to make up for screwing up rather badly in uni. I've since manned up and turned to writing (my dream) full time, but I hope those years (and guilt) don't cost me too much in the long run.
icyhighs....If you can write one page a day...you will have a book in no time. Me? My attention span is short. I've got at least five things going. But you have the time and the talent. I wish you great success with your writing. There are still paying jobs.
This from Joni Mitchell comes to mind:
"Tears and fears and feeling proud,
Say "I love you" right out loud.
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I've looked at life that way."
"But now old friends are acting strange.
They shake their heads and say I've changed.
But something's lost when somethings gained
Living everyday."
"I've looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall.
I really don't know life at all."
best, libby
Rated!
I do not go back and sob or sigh...I often only wonder why?
( just made that up...as you can tell :) :) )
Margaret...you and I need a girls night out. My ahead days are limited. I live in the now. Looking back is an exercise in futility but sometimes I wonder if...
Tinkerbell. Dreams are interesting. We need not beat ourselves up about the past. It is fun to wonder what if I'd married Tim instead of Tom.
Libby....I loved Miss Jean Brodie. Yes, yes...life collapses in itself and then we are older. I have looked at clouds from both sides now..a wonderful song. Humming as I write.
Trudge...honored that you decided to come along. I've been writing on OS for about 6 months. Please do follow and comment.
Gerald...life does go forward. I am one for not being stuck in the past. But we can learn from it.
I love life...says it all. I do, and you do.....
Lunch Lady..you are in the midst of a very difficult time. Just putting one foot in front of another is an effort. No time for looking back or turning. You are doing great. Thank you for joining in on this discussion.
Beauty...it is true that a lot of old people talk about what they did.
Once I wrote something about my parents. Mom was 95, Dad was 100. They really didn't have much to look forward to (grammar !)
looking back was better and kinder. I asked their friends to see them as lovers, as dancers, as hikers, as young. Truly remember that when you are diminished by age and infirmity it is hard to think about a future. Sometimes all you can do is get up, get dressed and think about the past. When I refer to a turning point, I am referring to an event or events that changed the course of your life.
Dwelling on the past is different.
Thank you all for your comments. We can keep going as long as you wish.
If you had it to do over again, you'd presumably do it based on the same information and conditions you had at the time, conditions which led you to your decisions in the first place. I haven't figured out how to plug present knowledge into the past.
It's not that you didn't have a choice at the time, it's that the reasons you made that choice can't change. Except over time.
The past is useful for lessons about the future. Dwelling on what you did only makes sense in the context of learning lessons for the future.
So, if we had it all to do it over again,
we'd do it over again.
Help the next people, and help ourselves looking forward. Or not. But those are our options.
I only have today now to deal with.
So I continue to write.
I only look back to remember where I came from...
Since we can't go back and change what was...and we can think about ..if things had been different, I could have done such and such. Ah, a light bulb goes on. That is how inventors work.
What I wanted to talk about was a turning point when you actually did something that changed the direction you were headed. Now, in my case, IF my parents had decided I should take a year at Jr. college...(feasible) and re-take my SAT exams, I may indeed have gone to McGill. I will never know. However, I might be able to influence one of my grand children...to take an extra semester, should a similar thing happen in their academic life. We learn from the past. Not get stuck there. I always appreciate your advice and opinion, so thank you for leading me here. I'm looking at this differently.
R♥
If I had married the Canadian Dr. I would be a widow. My children would not have born. Others might have been. What ifs can be interesting they need not be negative.
when i decided not to die
living, i figured
wasn't Wally Lamb fiction
living, i've discovered
is the artist's artistry
I quickly went to Wally Lamb .....will read. Thank you for that.
As for living. How wonderful you found something to make rain clouds dissipate and your sun...shine. These few lines came from a deep place and add much perspective to this discussion. Thank you so much for writing.
Love the photo. Two thoughts:
"Youth is wasted on the young," and "Life begins at 50."
However I agree....It is a glorious age. I was in my best shape ever. Worked out at a gym, had a gazillion dates and was rolling along in a size 4. Had my own apartment, decorated in my own taste. Great job. Then wouldn't you know fate came along and kicked me in the ass. Twice. In succession. Now I jump when the phone rings after 8 PM.
Youth is another subject. We can't get here without it.
We should talk about that. I wrote a piece a while back on OS about morphing into maturity. It is about this insidious thing that happens each day...3 AM to be exact. That is when your hair turns gray, your skin wrinkles and stuff starts moving around. Believe me...you think you have to get up and go to the bathroom..Not so. Its when you morph. :) Let us live a long time...and be happy.
Years later, I thought I wanted to be a cop. I always passed the written and physical exams with flying colors, but utterly failed the interview process (which most times included lie detectors) when, invariably someone would ask me if I had ever stolen anything. Uh! Well there was this time that I; and when I and then I, etc…..
No copping for me. Nope! As I grew older and reflected on this chain of events, I realized that I was far too inattentive to my surroundings to be a cop and had I been successful in evading the interviewers, I surely would be dead now.
So to all of you wannabe cops – shoplift like crazy and save your own life :-)
Interesting, and interesting comments, thanks Ande.
Boomer...had a cop in the family. It is steely work. Hard. Glad you opted out. But stay away from the penny candy store.
Thoth... I have five sons now....but there is always room for another.
I think, perhaps, you learned sensitivity from a mentor in your life.
Have you written about that? Thank you, as always. I look forward to hearing from you.
Rita...Fifty is good. Very good. You sound like me...are you sure you are not a younger me someplace else? Hopefully I learned from my own misdeeds, but once in a while I like to walk on the wild side. As I said, I have a short attention span. :)
Kim. Are you sure? I picture you in the Bush... Out back? Not the way back. "Where exactly that line is located, and exactly what is the Australian Outback, depends on the individual person..."
When I was 32 my best friend died. That was my turning point. No more 'what if's.' I left the ad agency & 'went bush.'
The house is still out there, but the girls & I live mostly on the East Coast.