Chicago, Illinois, USA
December 29
Chicago Public Schools
I'm a high school English teacher who teaches on the South Side of Chicago. I'm from Arkansas. I'm a white lady whose last name is Japanese (thanks to my Japanese Yankee husband). My brother in law says I'm a sitcom waiting to happen. I'm married and have a little girl who is three and a half, and a baby boy who is nineteen months old. I have lost 76 pounds in the last year and a half, and barefoot running is my new obsession. So much to share!


AmyFuji's Links

DECEMBER 5, 2008 2:20PM

How I Ruined Santa for My Sister (inspired by Dorinda)

Rate: 10 Flag

This is a true story, according to my sister. Although I do not remember this. My sister shared this story during her toast to me at my wedding reception. I do not think I've ever laughed so hard in my entire life.

According to my sister, when I was around 9 or 10, and she was around 7 or 8, I sat her down on her bed and we had the following conversation:

Me: "Do you know what sex is?"

Heather: "Nooo. . ."

Me: "It's when Dad puts his penis in Mom's vagina!"

Heather: Painful, stunned silence.

After about five minutes of my letting this information sink in, I then add, "And there's no Santa Claus, either!"

My poor sister insists that Christmas was never the same for her after that.

But I am the older sister -- it was my job to share such knowledge with her. 

Merry Christmas! (And Heather, I'm really, really sorry I did that to you!)

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Maybe she and my sister can comisserate together or cast evil spells in our direction.

I was a dork though so my sister would have believed nothing I said about sex. Maybe Dr. Spock though ;0)
Now THAT'S funny!!!!! And you shouldn't apologize...
OK ~ I am laughing like crazy!!! Sibling punishment is my weakness ... I live it here (as an observer) every single day!!!
Too funny. I can just picture the stunned face of your sister.
Oh my lord, woman, you are evil. And hilarious!
Ah, the double-barreled shotgun of sibling torment!

When I was about four years old, my 3 older sibs sat me down and bluntly told me there was no Santa, all because they wanted to switch opening presents on Xmas eve instead of AM but had been told by the parents that it had to wait until I no longer believed.