Algis Kemezys

Algis Kemezys
Location
Ste Adele, Québec, Canada
Birthday
June 28
Title
Co-Director
Company
BAK
Bio
Internationally exhibited Photographer/Documentary filmmaker, Sculptor, Dowser, Scrabble enthusiast, Geomancer, Iatromant, gourmet chef

MARCH 25, 2012 3:17AM

The ElephantaTree

Rate: 30 Flag

photograph by algis kemezys ,pareidolia elephant

 

This is one of the most charming Pareidolias I have ever found. Sometimes a tree is more than just a tree.

I call this the ElephantaTree. Make a wish because this is obviously a relative of Ganesh and this surreal Elephant can help you with all sorts of personal problems like Ganesh can. 

 

Now for some.... 

Elephant Jokes 



Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants in the distance?

A: "Look, a herd of elephants in the distance"

 


Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses

A: Nothing. He doesn't recognize them.

 


Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of giraffes in the distance?

A: "Haha! You fooled me once with those disguises, but not this time!"

 


Q: What is the difference between en elephant and a plum?

A: An elephant is grey.

 


Q: What does Jane say when she sees a herd of elephants in the distance?

A: "Look! A herd of plums in the distance" (Jane is colour blind)

 


Q: How do you get four elephants into a Mini?

A: Two in the front, two in the back.

 


Q: What game do four elephants in a mini play?

A: Squash

 


Q: How do you get an elephant into the fridge?

1. Open door.
2. Insert elephant.
3. Close door.


Q: How do you get a giraffe into the fridge?

1. Open door.
2. Remove elephant.
3. Insert giraffe.
4. Close door.


Q. The lion, the king of the jungle, decided to have a party. He invited all the animals in the jungle, and they all came except one. Which one?

A. The giraffe, because he was still in the fridge.

 


Q: How do you know there are two elephants in your fridge?

A: The door won't close.

 


Q: How do you know there are three elephants in your fridge?

A: There'll be one waiting outside in the Mini.

 


Q: How can you tell that an elephant has been in your fridge?

A: By the footprints in the butter.

 


Q: How do you get an elephant out of the water?

A: Wet.

 


Q: How do you get two elephants out of the water?

A: One by one.

 


Q: Why do elephants wear shoes with yellow soles?

A: So you don't see them when they float upside down in a bowl of custard.

 


Q: Have you ever seen an elephant floating upside down in a bowl of custard?

A: No, of course not.

 


Q: Why do elephants live in herds?

A: To get a wholesale reduction on the shoes with yellow soles.

 


Q: How do you smuggle an elephant across the border?

A: Put a slice of bread on each side, and call him "lunch".

 


"An elephant is a mouse with an operating system"

 


Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?

A: With a blue elephant gun, of course.

 


Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?

A: Ever seen a yellow elephant?!!!

 


Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?

A: Have you ever tried to iron one?

 


Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?

A: Because it was dead.

 


Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?

A: It was glued to the first one.

 


Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?

A: It thought it was a game.

 


Q: And why did the tree fall down?

A: It thought it was an elephant.

 


Q: How many legs does an elephant have?

A: Four, two in the front, two in the back.

 


Q: Why did the elephant cross the road?

A: Chicken's day off.

 


Q: What was the elephant doing on the motorway?

A: About 5 mph (8kph in the rest of the world)

 


Q: How do you get an elephant into a VW?

A: Open the car door, put the elephant inside, close the door.

 


Q: How do you put an elephant into a fridge?

A: Open the VW door, take the elephant out, close the VW door, open the fridge, put the elephant inside, close the fridge.

 


Q: How do you get 4 elephants into a Volkswagen?

A: 2 in the front and 2 in the back

 


Q: How do you know if there are 3 elephants in your fridge?

A: Can't get the fridge door closed.

 


Q: How do you know if there are 4 elephants in your fridge?

A: There's a VW parked outside it.

 



Q: How do you get 8(!) elephants in a fridge?

A: Put four in a VW, four in another VW, put the two VW's in the fridge, A fridge large enough to hold two elephants can surely hold two VW's!

 


Q: How do you get Tarzan in the fridge?

A: Open door, get two VW's out, put Tarzan in, close door.

 


Q: How do you know Tarzan is in the fridge?

A: You can hear Tarzan scream OYOYOYOIYOIYOOOOOO

 


Q: How do you get two Tarzans in the fridge?

A: You can't, silly. There is only one Tarzan!

 


Q: Why are there so many elephants running around free in the jungle?

A: The fridge isn't large enough to hold them all.

 


Q: How many elephants can you actually put in a fridge?

A: Depends on the number of elephants.

 


Q: What did the fifth elephant in the VW discover?

A: The sun roof.

 


Q: The Lion (king of the animals) gathered all the animals for a meeting, all of them showed up except the elephants. Why?

A: They were stuck in the VW.

 


Q: How many giraffes can you fit in a VW?

A: None, the elephants are in there!

 


Q: What do you call two elephants on a bicycle?

A: Optimistic!

 


Q: What do you get if you take an elephant into the city?

A: Free Parking.

 


Q: What do you get if you take an elephant into work?

A: Sole use of the elevator.

 


Q: How do you know if there is an elephant in the pub?

A: It's bike is outside.

 


Q: How do you know if there are two elephants in the pub?

A: There is a dent in the cross-bar.

 


Q: How do you know if there are three elephants in the pub?

A: Stand on the bike and have a look in the window.

 


Q: Why do elephants wear tiny green hats?

A: To sneak across a pool table without being seen.

 


Q: How many elephants does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Don't be stupid, elephants can't change light bulbs.

 


Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale?

A: A submarine with a built-in snorkel.

 


Q: How do you know if there is an elephant under the bed?

A: Your nose is touching the ceiling.

 


Q: Why do elephants wear sandals?

A: So that they don't sink in the sand.

 


Q: Why do ostriches stick their head in the ground?

A: To look for the elephants who forgot to wear their sandals.

 


Q: How do you make a dead elephant float?

A: Well, you take 10 dead elephants, 10 tons of chocolate ice-cream, 5 tons of bananas,.....

 


Q: How do you get an elephant on top of an oak tree?

A: Stand him on an acorn and wait fifty years.

 


Q: What if you don't want to wait fifty years?

A: Parachute him from an airplane.

 


Q: Why isn't it safe to climb oak trees between 2 and 4 in the afternoon?

A: Because that is when the elephants practice their parachute jumping.

 


Q: What is a furry alligator?

A: A bear that went into the woods at 3 o'clock.

 


Q: Why do ducks have flat feet?

A: From stamping out forest fires.

 


Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?

A: From stamping out flaming ducks.

 


Q: Why are elephants feet shaped that way?

A: To fit on lily pads.

 


Q: Why isn't it safe to go onto the lily pads between 4 and 6 in the afternoon?

A: That's when the elephants are walking on the lily pads.

 


Q: Why are frogs so short?

A: They go onto the lily pads between 4 and 6 in the afternoon.

 


Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?

A: 5 O'clock (trick question - not "Time to get a new fence..")

 


Q: Why do elephants paint the soles of their feet yellow?

A: So that they can hide upside-down in bowls of custard.

 


Q: Did you ever find an elephant in your custard?

A: No? Well, it must work.

 


Q: What do you know when you see three elephants walking down the street wearing pink sweatshirts?

A: They're all on the same team.

 


Q: How do you know if there's an elephant in bed?

A: He has a big 'E' on his pajamas jacket pocket.

 


Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?

A: Take away his credit card.

 


Q: Why do elephants have trunks?

A: Because they would look silly with glove compartments.

 


Q: What did the elephant say when he saw a dead ant on the road?

A: Deadant! Deadant! Deadant!!! (to be sung).

 


Q: What did he say when he saw a live ant on the road?

A: He stamped it to death and then said "Deadant! Deadant! Deadant!!!".

 


Q: What do you give a seasick elephant?

A: Lots of room.

 


Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with an ant?

A: A dead ant.

 


Q: How many elephants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Two, but you need a real big bulb.

 


Q: What has two tails, two trunks and five feet?

A: An elephant with spare parts

 


Q: What is more difficult than getting an elephant into the back seat of your car?

A: Getting TWO elephants into the back seat of your car!

 


Q: What's grey and puts out forest fires?

A: Smokey the Elephant.

 


Q: What happens when an elephant sits in front of you at the movies?

A: You miss most of the picture!

 


Q: What did the peanut say to the elephant?

A: Nothing, peanuts can't talk.

 


Q: How many elephants can you fit into a Mercedes?

A: 5. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

 


Q: How do you know when an Elephant has been in the baby carriage?

A: By the footprints on the baby's forehead!

 


Q: What is beautiful, gray and wears glass slippers?

A: Cinderelephant.

 

These jokes are from Here. 

 

 

 

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Comments

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Q: How do you get down from an Elephant?
A: You don't get down from an Elephant, you get down from a Duck!

Q: What's grey, has big ears and a trunk?
A: A mouse on vacation
I Wooden Dodat,Good ones and thanks for adding a few, although I am still considering most of these rather lame. Thanks IWD!
the first (? there may have been a more distant incarnation- I don't know of one) time around 0n these happened in the sixties when I was in Junior high- as I remember it, the whole point of telling elephant jokes was their extreme lameness- The idea was to plague your buddy with them until he physically tried to make you shut up- which was an excuse for a good natured wrestling match. Then there were "Grape" jokes- even lamer if possible.
I Wooden Dodat, I did not mean yours I meant the ones I posted but from what you say that is so right on. yes it was that way and with orange jokes and zebra ones to. Yours were OK really. I was just thinking I should maybe get rid of the ones I posted but maybe not now that I remember.
Elephants always remember where their sanctuary is to be found...I read elephant stories all the time...
GHWittler, Yes I love elephants and was so pleased to have found this. I take it as a good sign and I always fear for their safety. Please recommend a good story to read please.
Ganesh, now there's a God who is not venomous
Never imagined that there was such wealth of Elephant humor.or a word like pareidolas. Very nice surprise. Thanks Algis.
Ho ho ho, what a way to start my day
with hearty, rolling laughs
all about elephants,
which would not have been so funny,
had it been about giraffes.

Rate with an RRR
They almost told a story! Funny elephants first thing in the morning. Better than caffeine.
I'll take the tree. The four elephants in a Mini reminds me of Cranky's new book.
Why did the elephant cross the road?



To squash the chicken on the other side!
Love the tree had no idea there are so many elephant jokes.
Gggrrrroooooannnn... what's next: Frogs in a blender, nuns falling down stairs?
Wonderful photo. Your photos are absolutely National Geographic quality. Have you ever thought of submitting them?

r
Love the tree....amazing actually.
So much fun. I needed an LOL...:)
Can I rename the tree Jumbo?
I am dizzy from Elephant Jokes and I like that feeling. My favorite...

Q: Why did the elephant cross the road?

A: Chicken's day off.

Thank you Thank you
Sunday funny and a great pic...you always bring it.
Sorry I sksipped the jokes but just love the picture!
Nature has a sense of humor! When she was young my daughter told me this joke: Where do elephants shop? Trunk shows! Then she had to ask me that meant.
That really does look like an elephant!
I also photo'ed a blob of snow last week that looked just like an elephant head as well...she melted. : )
Argh, I just turned off "Earth" on tv cuz it was showing a elephant pursued by a bunch of leopards...one had leaped up on it and was chewing on it...couldn't watch any more...

Just a contrarian note to your sweet post.
Love, love, LOVE this Algis. Thanks.
Jack Heart, Yes, indeed.Thanks JH!

Fernsy, Great new words are always fun esp this one.Thanks F!

Robin Robinson, Great...so flad to have done that for you. Thanks RR!

phyllis45's Bright Eyes, Oh thats so fun to hear. Thanks P!

Chicken Mãâàn Oh so good of you to think that way!

M. C. S. Hee hee hee Thanks MCS!

Desnee Flakes Me either.Now Ithink I should have editted some. Thanks DF!

Miguela Holt y Roybal So glad to have you delighted then. Thanks MHR!

Brie aka Barbara K Thanks so much I am really keen on it myself. Thanks BBK!

Jmac1949, Yes these are groaners but are there any funny jokes like that?

Mary Stanik Your so sweet to then.Thanks MS!

Rw005g That is such a fine thing to say! Thanks R!

Ande Bliss, So glad you enjoyed it. Thanks AB!

VariousArtists You certainly can.Thanks VA!

Zanelle Thanks for adding some more funnies here Z!
Maureen J Andrade So glad you enjoyed it MJA!

Trilogy Thats OK because the jokes were a second thought and I am not sure about many of them, Thanks T!

Bellwether Vance GGuess I will have to ask you the same question too. Thanks and what is a trunk show BV!

Just Thinking… Love to have seen it . Seems like it is a good week for elephants. Thanks JT!

Myriad I have seen that and it really is a hard thing to watch. I think I left the room. Thanks again M!

Firechick, I return that with more LOVE then FC!
Keeper. Yesterday I was gonna comment.
The comment would not go. It's a "square"
`
I have mentioned this repeatedly. O, my . . .
`
You 'roused' my memory. I did a post . . .
`
Antidote
`
Whenever sad it's wise to take out a photo.
Remove from our wallet a editor photograph.
See nasty, chubby, smirker, deleter, coward,
and ignore acne, cowpox marks, goofy grin,
and just smile. Ignore editor with buck teeth,
silver braces, black horned rimmed glasses,
green teeth, and eggshell-blue prom photo.

You sense others in denial are worst off . . .
Art James, Wow amazing...if I ever figure out what that means between the lines, I will be sure to share it with the goddess Hecate in your honor.
Algis,thank you for sharing this.Your article will make me the most interesting ρerson in a friendly enviroment..Now,I know what to say..Eleρhant jokes..Thank you,so much..
STATHI STATHI, Thanks so much.I am not sure if those elephant jokes will get you very far but give it a try you will never know until you do. Thanks again SS!
Algis, that's an amazing likeness to an elephant that you photographed! I remember seeing the Old Man of the Mountain silhouette in New Hampshire many times and was saddened when the rocks fell away and the face was no more. There are probably some jokes out there about the Old Man and a refrigerator, too!
A, the tree is wonderful and I LOVE elephant jokes. Thanks for sharing them. RRRRR
Loved the tree. Groaned a little at the jokes. Who knew elephants were so funny.
Funny what comes out when you open the floodgates of memory- even more fun than plaguing your male friends with "elephant jokes" was plaguing the girl you had a "crush"on until she physically attempted to "make you shut up" - an even more interesting ( and more sweetly remembered ) variety of "wrestling match" ensued. Ah to be young again.... But then my wife keeps assuring me that I have the mental capacity of a 12 year old.
Sorry, I seem to have unintentionally slandered my wife- she says I have the MIND of a 12 year old. ( my mental capacity she says is still stuck at the level of finding Ca-Ca jokes fascinating, in other words, about 3)
Nice try Algys. Jane cant be colour blind. Females are carries of the gene, only men can be colour blind. Gotcha! :>