Alan C. Baird

Alan C. Baird
Mesa, Arizona, USA, Earth
Alan lives just a stone's throw from Phoenix... which is fine and dandy, until the stones are thrown back.



VSDownload .zip package (25.1MB) containing four .mp3 files. Tracks:
1 (6:02) Valley of Ditches
2 (6:34) The Dam Builders
3 (7:37) Masque of the Yellow Moon
4 (7:51) Reclamation's Golden Jubilee

Arizona State College (Tempe) Symphonic Orchestra (1952), conducted by Ferde Grofé.
Recorded by Ariz/…

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JULY 23, 2012 9:17AM

Screenwriting definition: dink.


D.N.Q. - in a screenplay competition, a "dink" is a script that Did Not Qualify, or make it past the first cut.

Screenwriter: "My script was dinked; it didn't even make it into the quarterfinal round."
JULY 3, 2012 9:33AM

Wish You Were Here.

Wish You Were HereSo... so you think you can tell / Heaven from Hell? / Blue skies from pain? / Can you tell a green field / From a cold steel rail? / A smile from a veil? / Do you think you can tell?

Did they get you to trade / Your heroes for

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JUNE 24, 2012 10:30AM

Chesley Bonestell.

"Saturn as seen from Titan" (1944), by Chesley Bonestell (Californian, 1888-1986), oil on canvas. This was one of Bonestell's favorite subjects, and he painted this fantastic view at least seven times, in various shades. It has been reproduced in ten or more publications.

Saturn as seen from Titan

A Diamond Jubilee is a celebration held to mark a 75th anniversary, but Queen Elizabeth's jubilee celebration (today through Tuesday) is being held on the 60th year of her reign. So why are the British people arbitrarily cheating on the numbers?

My guess: Liz is 86, and she might last until 101,

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MAY 24, 2012 6:06PM

Follow the Bee again.


The National Spelling Bee, that is. On Twitter. On Facebook. Or on ESPN, Thursday, May 31, 8pm EDT. [5pm here in Phoenix.] Or in my fevered memory. Or on a DVD:
SpellboundAkeelah and the BeeBee Season
June 1964: Dad/Mom/Nerd/Rep. Brad Morse (R-MA)/Flag

Top 3 suggestions for improving the Bee:
3. Outside: more tailgate parties, so the spectators can get proper/…

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"Eat your heart out, Oedipus." [TIME cover] [BuzzFeed]

TIME cover
APRIL 22, 2012 6:33AM

Hot dawg!

Hot dog vendor: "You want one or two?"

Buddha: "Make me one with everything."
Nilsson: "One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do."
Highlander: "There can be only one."
APRIL 14, 2012 4:48AM

Hunter on Life.

Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, "Wow! What a ride!"

--Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
APRIL 11, 2012 3:25PM

Nice blog, kidz. Now genuflect.


My parting shot. Details.

Nicky+Paris Hilton: "How do we gett famus lyk u?"
Hillary Clinton: "Ask Bubba."
[My 2¢, submitted to Texts From Hillary.]


Original images by Bryan Bedder/Getty Images for IMG and Kevin Lamarque for Reuters.
APRIL 3, 2012 8:50PM

Born In The U.S.A.

The BossImagine you're tooling down the road when Springsteen begins to sing on the radio. He's belting out his iconic anthem, "Born In The U.S.A."

The music is driving, insistent. Your Budapest-born bride is snapping her fingers, because it's one of her favorite tunes.

Then she starts singing a duet wi

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Mine are, too. I first noticed that some older photos were disappearing from a couple of my Facebook Pages.

Initially, I reported the problem on this Photos Bug Report page.

Then I posted a message in the Facebook Help Forum.

Then I found this FAQ page, which offers a form on which to… Read full post »
MARCH 9, 2012 4:35PM

The Sky Is Falling!

[Re: SpaceWeather.com] A friggin' huge solar flare is hitting the earth... which means it's time for another trippy graphic animation from the Goddard Space Weather Lab!

Far out, man!!

[click image to enlarge - 2.56Mb]

FEBRUARY 22, 2012 6:23PM



Pontiac(by (Lyle Lovett)

If you want that girl
Listen son
Don't you sit around and cry
Because love
In this world
Ain't nothing you can't buy

She's got ruby lips
And emerald eyes
She's got diamonds on her mind
If you want that girl
What you need is

REFRAIN: That's Um-Oh-En-Ee-Why, baby

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stampArizona is 100 years old today. It's an immature state, still stuck in the "Draw, pardner" mentality. Please be patient with Arizona. Many of us are trying to bring the state up to the minimum standards required for a civilized society. ;-)

Arizona Centennial website

Arizona Statehood (For… Read full post »
FEBRUARY 1, 2012 7:00AM

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave

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JANUARY 28, 2012 2:21PM

Ring Of Fire.


Sunday, May 20, 2012: a "ring of fire" annular solar eclipse is coming to OR, CA, NV, UT, AZ, CO, NM, TX. It's the first one in the USA in almost 18 years.

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YX2blo1eRk

More details: http://science.nasa.gov/science-news/science-at-nasa/2012/27jan_annulareclip… Read full post »
JANUARY 17, 2012 12:49PM

Thank you! More, please?

ANNIE (Malin Akerman): About a year ago, I was in this cab, and the cab driver - this Indian guy - started telling me... he started telling me all sorts of stuff. He was just looking at me in the rear-view mirror and he said, "Bliss. Bliss is your birthright." And

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JANUARY 7, 2012 5:53AM

Blake sayeth.

Blake would say, "The naked woman's body is a portion of eternity too great for the eye of man." (Iron John: A Book About Men, by Robert Bly, 1990)

Blake actually said:

"The roaring of lions, the howling of wolves, the raging of the stormy sea, and the destructive sword, are portions of… Read full post »
JANUARY 6, 2012 9:16AM

Funniest videos about Facebook.

Facebook Manners And You:

The Social Network Teaser 3 (Spoof):

10 Reasons Why We Hate Facebook:

Robert Frost Checks His Facebook Account:
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/7b33dbb0… Read full post »
JANUARY 1, 2012 7:21AM


Archaeologists have discovered the Mayan Calendar, Part Deux.
It starts in 2012, and even includes the last three months of 2011.
JANUARY 1, 2012 3:34AM

Who's On First?


--Abbott & Costello [text] [mp3] [Wikipedia]

ABBOTT: Well, Costello, I'm going to New York with you. Bucky Harris, the Yankees' manager, gave me a job as coach for as long as you're on the team.

COSTELLO: Look Abbott, if you're the coach, you must know all the players.

ABBOTT: I certainly do.


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DECEMBER 31, 2011 5:24AM

Come to the edge.

by Christopher Logue (23 Nov 1926 - 2 Dec 2011)

(written in 1968 for a festival in honor of the 50th anniversary of the death of the French poet Guillaume Apollinaire)

Come to the edge.
"We might fall."
Come to the edge.
"It's too high!"
And they came,
and we pushed,
And they... flew.