Southern Exposure

Ruminations of a Native Son

AJCalhoun

AJCalhoun
Location
Greater Washington. DC., United States
Birthday
February 06
Title
Critical Care Technician
Company
Dimensions Healthcare System
Bio
Compulsive writer (mostly memoirs and sociopolitical rants), musicologist, hermeticst, fiscal conservative, radical centrist, agrarian socialist; Charter member, Factualist Party; born and raised in DC, healthcare professional, retired businessman, civic and policial activist on two coasts, civil rights movement veteran, and serial divorcee. An empiricist's worst nightmare, I believe in everything but I don't believe everything, including many things I believe in. Turned down by US Army in 1966 for medical reasons, thrown out of Col. Hasan's Black Man's Army in 1967 for being "too militant." Scion of a family only Tennessee Williams could have dreamed up. There's more. There's always more.

MY RECENT POSTS

AUGUST 2, 2012 3:14AM

A Few Things I Have Learned

Rate: 21 Flag

I skipped the entire month of July because I was busy living. During that time it occurred to me that I have learned quite a lot of useful stuff that won't earn me a red cent, yet I find I may well be the wealthiest man alive.

I will share my ripe July wisdom:

You can only go halfway into the woods. Beyond that point you are on your way out of the woods. 

You can push a doctor around if you're right. 

Love without sex is still love. Sex without love is nothing but a momentary distraction from the lack of love.

If I cannot be true to myself, if I am willing to settle for relief of aloneness instead of waiting for the real thing, then I have been unfaithful in the worst possible way and cannot be trusted with anything. So I remain true to myself. 

I actually can write well. Now I need to learn how to accept the compliments that brings about, and to fully enjoy having my breath taken away when someone I consider brilliant tells me I am brilliant

Hate, like weird clothing, goes in and out of fashion periodically, and for the same reasons.

Love, like nakedness, underlies everything else we put on.

While Dorothy Parker was right about ugly going "straight to the bone," she was wrong about beauty being skin deep. It actually comes from some thus far undetermined source deep inside, and emanates outward in the form of light, so that when a truly beautiful person walks into a room, speaks, or merely appears, a light comes on and everything becomes clear.

If I were required to relinquish one of my senses, it would definitely be my eyesight. Not my vision, which cannot be  taken anyway, but my eyesight. 

Music is silences connected by sounds.

The best treatment for Menier's disease, which causes ringing in the ears, violent vertigo, and sometimes nausea, can be medically managed by use of a diuretic. 

I have learned the meaning of the phrase "peeing like a racehorse."

The more aptitude one has at something unusual, the more people will expect you to do that unusual thing for less and less compensation, so you'd better love your aptitude or keep it to yourself.

Isaac Newtons's law of gravity works horizontally as well as vertically. I've been drawn sideways by the gravitational pull of a beautiful woman. This does not require medical treatment and cannot be prevented. It is like sailing into the sun.

I learned, at last, what my father meant when trying to explain why Freemasonry is conveyed in 32 degrees. He said, when I was much younger and knew everything, "Just because you can add and subtract doesn't mean you can solve calculus problems." 

I learned one can survive eight days in Los Angeles without being able to drive, but the average income of cabbies goes up exponentially on each day. 

I learned there is at least one person in Los Angeles who cares enough about me to not let a bunch of cabbies get rich at my expense, but still managed to walk off several pounds and enjoyed the alone time the TSA gave me by stealing my driver's license.

I learned that a driver's license takes seven and one half days to get from Baltimore to Los Angeles via USPS.

I learned there are crop circles somewhere in one of the square states that look like Pac Man.

Home actually is where the heart is, even if it's a stale old bromide. It's true. 

I learned, only tonight, that the full moon still inspires feelings in me that cannot be explained, and by extension that the more I learn, the more I realize I do not and never will know; and that knowlege of what I do not know, the vastness of it, the infinitude of unknown possibilities, draws me toward the soft light that emanates from somewhere off in the distance, and that being, despite my bottomless ignorance, holds new beauty, wonders and love to be discovered daily, and that my wealth lies in what comes toward me when I move toward the blue horizon, where I ache to live and move and have my being.

I learned a lot in the past month. I know very little, now, yet I am more certain than I have ever been, because of July. I will expect no less from every month, every day, every year, for the rest of my life. 

Then the mystery begins.

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Comments

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" Now I need to learn how to accept the compliments that brings about, and to fully enjoy having my breath taken away when someone I consider brilliant tells me I am brilliant"

Me too!!! I truly am my biggest critic!! I am my own worse enemy!!! ~nodding~

Great piece my friend!!!
"This video contains content from Koch Entertainment and UMG. It is not available in your country."

Oh, such a sad ending.


To such a lovely poem.
I couldn't possibly love this more. Here's to your August. ~r
What a full, fruitful month you've had...thank you for sharing your wisdom, so beautifully written!
What a restoring kind of piece! Glad you are back and this is the result of your sabbatical. Without perspective, all the living can become so much like jargon in a weak dialogue. To live fully is not to run at it all, toting every insecurity and bump, but stretch it once in a while to appreciate the tingle in the moment, the exhale, the inhale and the respite from what it is we think we are, and to see, to know what we truly are.
Love reading your ripe July wisdom...perfect for plucking and savoring on a summer day. Wisdom from the heart more than the mind is, to my mind (or heart :) the true apex of understanding.
Great piece of writing.
Lovely musings and wisdom. Dare I say brilliant.
It would have been great to observe such a trip of personal growth, such a journey, but to participate might have prevented it. The Hero's journey may have several companions along the way, but is really done alone.
Tink: Yes, we are. We are also some of each others' biggest admirers. You are brilliant, my friend. Shine on, you crazy diamond. Thank you. Just thank you...

Connie Mack: I'm going to fix that. It is infuriating. Anything with "Koch" in it needs to be fixed.

Thanks.

Thank you, Joan H. I have more feelings than words.

clay ball: It has been very fruitful. I won't let it stop. Thank you.

Sheila: There's nothing like finding one's self on foot in LA for a number of days to stretch the spirit, give words and feelings meaning and regain a sense of being fully one's authentic self. Highly recommended. Thanks so much.

dirndl skirt: Anyone who can use "apex" and "heart" in the same sentence most certainly gets it. Thank you so very much.

sagemerlin: Thank you, good sir.

jlsathre: You may say it, and I will blush and stumble over my words, and that's just fine. I'm learning. Thank you.

Oryoki Bowl: All I can say in reply, aside from a heartfelt Thank you, is Amen.
Simply beautiful. Thanks for this!
Christine MacDonald: You're very welcome, and thank you!
This a a wonderful mediation AJ.
I agree with almost everything except arguing with a Doc! ( you know I work at Penn so I know a bit about the whole hierarchy)
What a romantic you are, sailing into the sun. I like thinking there was a time I inspired that as a young woman.
One thought I had after reading the two about sex and being true is men get so much more interesting as they go into middle age. Hoping that is true for woman. Excellent post, really fine.
Hi Rita, so good to hear from you, and thanks! Oh, about arguing with doctors - first, it's riskier for an RN than a tech for some reason. Second, I never do it in front of others. And some day I may get busted for it, but I seem to have this weird rapport with them.

I don't doubt for a moment you exerted that kind of gravitational pull and likely still do. It's nice to hear my evolution referred to as "interesting" - in a good way. And yes, I can assure you it is true of middle-aged women as well. It's all good.

Thanks again!
I remember these words from a fellow graduate's page in the year book. He had written:

"Knowledge is proud that He has learned so much;
Wisdom is humble that He knows no more."

It always intrigued me and I wondered if one was valued more over the other. But I grew to view the two go hand in hand and interdependent. You seem to have found yours in July. I wish you continuation of the same on your journey.

Rated♥
FusunA: Yes, interdependent. I think one needs each to guage the other or at least maintain perspective. The destination remains elusive, but the road goes on forever. Took me till this July to fully grasp it.

Thanks for your comment and your wish for the journey.
AJ, I've missed you so much these 48 years I haven't known you!

I'm glad you're back.
The muse is with you, A.J.

"I actually can write well." -- ok. I'll say it, duuuuh! Yes, you do.

Thanks for the intro to Scott Walker. Never heard of him before.

R
Hi AJ I am a tech too, cardiac sonographer, and will grant you it is easier for me to argue with a Doc, about an echo finding perhaps.
cheapbohemian: We have a lot of time to make up! I'm happy to be back. Thanks!
V. Corso: The muse is with me and I'm just glad I haven't embarrassed her. Thank you! And you're welcome for the Scott Walker intro. I'm always happy when I find someone who's discovering him for the first time.

Rita: That's funny. I remember a three way argument between an echo tech, a cardiologist and me (the cardio invited this, but it got out of hand). We wound up betting on "Is that a myxoma or a clot?" Two of us were right. Neither one was the doctor, who had to buy dinner for both of us. Okay, so that one ended better than a lot of disagreements.
This post has won a Readers' Picks Award.
To whomever nominated this for the Reader's Pick: Thank you. It is greatly appreciated and utterly unexpected.
Came by because of the Readers' Pick.

There are a couple of these I especially like. The woods observation is good. Thanks for the Menier's advice; my mother had that for a while many years ago and I'd like to know what to do if I ever see it again. I love the observation about aptitudes.

Glad I came.

The Dies Irae beginning to that cut was nice.
koshersalaami, thanks so much for dropping by. I really appreciate your comments. I especially like that you got the intro to the Walker song. That is amazing. Part of Walker (Engle)'s genius.

Thanks again!
All us Jewish boys know Dies Irae.



That and I used to play a lot of early music. Recorders and bass viola da gamba. Not what I play these days. Yesterday/last night I gigged on rock'n'roll and klezmer.