Today I think I’ll take a shower, fix my hair and go get an abortion, just because I can. I might get knee replacement surgery tomorrow. Maybe Thursday is a good day for a mammogram. Followed by a trip to the dentist.
I’m reading posts about how people feel about abortion and I’m lost. I can’t get an abortion today because I’m not pregnant. I can’t get my knees replaced because they are going to be fine for a few more years, so that elective surgery will remain in my future.
The elective and convenient minor surgery known as abortion is one I think of with great fondness. I THANKED the doctors at Planned Parenthood for performing it.
I understand it’s an emotional and touchy subject for many, and I will read every story that you care to share. But here’s a perspective that gets no attention: the fact that it is a safe, legal and minor medical procedure.
I know those words are not filled with any empathy for the women who undergo the safe, legal, minor medical procedure. Because I don’t know them. I can only say that, after undergoing a safe, legal medical procedure that I hope they feel cared for in terms of aftercare for a safe, legal medical procedure. Planned Parenthood and any decent OB-GYN makes sure a patient has follow up because they are doctors and they are doing there jobs, albeit in some cases with bullet proof vests on as they walk from their cars into their workplace to perform a safe, legal and minor medical procedure.
I’m probably one of the few people who will confront the great debate in this manner, and it is because I have had a few abortions. They were all great, in terms of a safe and legal medical procedure. My second one was at the clinic just outside of Boston where the staff had been murdered by a mentally unstable person who walked in with an assault rifle and killed the receptionists and others. So, y’know, I had to have a code name before I could go in the door for my safe, legal abortion. I had to be scanned for weapons. I had to go through a metal detector. My partner was not allowed to be with me. I felt like a criminal, which is exactly what the pro-life nut jobs want. They want you to feel debased and criminalized. They want you to be scared. Can I say thank you to the brave women who work at that clinic, which was moved after it became a true murder scene, for providing this safe and legal medical procedure?
My third abortion was met with typical ugliness by the protestors outside of Planned Parenthood, who are very savvy about exactly how close they can legally get to you as they jeer at you. Really? You are standing in the freezing cold and sleet to scream at me while I pursue a safe and legal and minor medical procedure? Don’t you know any children you could be reading to? Couldn’t you be volunteering in the schools? Is this really the best use of your time?
Also, I could have been going there to get a pap smear. But NOOO! I am a horrible fertile woman who is killing the baby through my wanton womb! If heaven is populated by those assholes, hell will be my preferred afterlife destination.
I yelled back at them. Of course. This is what I am talking about: my rights were being restricted by a mob of idiots who know nothing about me, nor what the safe and legal minor surgery meant in terms of MY health and welfare.
Now is the time for the great reveal: why is it that I have had three abortions? You know what? It’s none of your business. But I speak freely about them anyway because I am not ashamed nor was I ever confused when I got my abortions.
I have friends who are intellectually and emotionally grappling with the issue of abortion, as it pertains to their idea of morality and religion and faith. And life. The most interesting conversations I have on this subject are with people who struggle with their moral opposition to abortion and their basic love for humanity and social justice. They speak with a moral conviction that the shooters and the protesters could only hope, or pray, to find. They think it through and admit that they have reservations. But they also understand that it is a safe and legal medical procedure, and a decision made between a woman and a doctor.
I never wavered when I chose. My circumstances are unique, as is everyone’s circumstance. Abortion should not have to be justified in the court of public opinion. And that is sort of the whole thing. I am tired of war stories being accepted from the front lines when it is a safe and legal medical procedure. I am tired of the war against choice, and I’m about ready to fight back.
I welcome your comments, your stories and your opinions..
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Danish studies over long term health care impact found women who had abortions had a lower incidence of depression and mental health problems than women who chose to give birth. As I lived there, I am familiar with the attitudes, which is, every single child is a wanted, cared for and loved child. No one goes without a home, food, medical care, education and access to social services at every step of life. Will some regret it? Probably, but mostly, they get on with it.
I tried to get an IUD a few years ago, as I can't do almost any other type of birth control without side effects. Apparently, it can't be put in me, personally, without putting me under sedation and essentially giving me medication to induce "labor". I asked, what about the cervical opening drugs they use for abortions, and the OBGYN said, those drugs are not used unless you have a special license and work at an abortion facility. A safe, legal medication cannot be used by a OBYGYN surgeon because of its association with abortions. And no, it wasn't worth the risk of uterine puncture and bleeding, although generally they are very safe. I just happen to be shaped "wrong" for it. Motherf**ker.
Had they not been freely available, I can't imagine what would have happened to me much less the children I would have borne. I could barely care for two children, much less five.
we used birth control.
As other posts on OS have mentioned in the past and I have heard and read elsewhere a fetus makes out well under this crowd, but once that fetus is a child and beyond this group could not care less about the individual with the same zeal that they foster to protest clinics. I was sorry to read your account of the killings in the clinic in the outer Boston area. Actually, I often thought the Boston area was progressive enough that these people didn't live there, but all it takes is one or a few deranged and misguided people to undertake such a heinous crime at a particular clinic.
Now there is a Republican majority in the House that is of the same mind with these people. All of these years later and it might as well be back in the days of Newt Gingrich when I see what these representatives are up to in the early days of this new Congressional term.
As you point out, it's a personal thing and none of their business! Thanks for sharing your story and ideas on this important topic!
"I want an abortion anyways!!"
Well, this conversation went on for hours then I went home and took a nap!!
:)
Rated(cause no, we DO NOT want to go back to the days of back alley abortions!)
I have for a long while now been trying to get over my anger that this whole issue is on the table again, but then again, I guess it has never gone away. Us women have to sleep with one eye open, as usual.
A lot of people were pissed in my country (Canada) when abortion activist Dr. Henry Morgenthaler received our highest achievement in 2008, The Order Of Canada for his support of women’s right to choose. He wore a bullet proof vest to work everyday and put his life on the line. Women (of all child-bearing ages, not just teenagers by the way) put their life on the line without access to safe, legal abortions. Morgenthaler's life was threatened, his clinic in Toronto was bombed because helped strike down antiquated abortion laws and continues to work towards providing access to unrestricted, safe, legal abortions. I, for one, was proud we acknowledged this.
We must not rest. We've got our collective critical eyes on what is going on here too ... and these proposed changes south of the border make my blood boil.
I can't get any of those procedures because I don't have health insurance. I've decided to just die on the threshold of the local emergency room or the governor's office
Back in the day, when I identified myself as a "pro-life" advocate, I could not make myself anti legal abortion - even at the time, I felt that "pro-life" needed to encompass and encourage the life of the woman who was facing the decision.
You rock . . . keep on speaking up and speaking out . . . we're right behind you, cheering you on!
♥
HUGGGGGGGGGGGG
Anyway. Regarding that safe, legal, minor medical procedure. It is minor and legal, to be sure. But let me give you another perspective on safe. As opposed to back alley coat-hanger butcher jobs, it is absolutely safe. It is a very long way from those. But I have given many many anesthetics for these. Most are done with either general anesthesia or very heavy sedation. Both are only as safe as the vigilance of the person administering them. I once almost lost a 12 year old girl because she reacted to the muscle relaxant. 4 hours later she finally started breathing again and we could take her off the ventilator. I have had to give blood because the surgeon perforated the uterus. I have witnessed bladder perforations, uterine perforations, bowel perforations. I have had argument after argument with greedy surgeons who wanted me to forego the taking of the blood pressure, the confirmation of return of reflexes for swallowing so that the patient would be at least able to protect her airway should she regurgitate. They insisted that I move things along more quickly. I have had to stop the flow of the procedures to make the recovery personnel simply hold a patient's jaw forward so their tongue didn't obstruct, or see that they turned her onto her side for the same reason. I am vigilant. I am anal about it. Many aren't. There is no such thing as a minor anesthetic.
I defend a woman's right to choose with my every fiber. But make no mistake, there are risks with this procedure. The ones I have listed, and SO many more. Be careful out there.
miclapeace: Thanks, truly, for reading this and weighing in. Your name says it all, and I don't want to fight.
ReiMomo: I agree with every word you say. Thanks.
Oryoki: Wow. Thanks for this comment and...look for a PM about IUD's! That was abortion #3. I spent years trying not to get pregnant, with similar issues to yours. The Danish studies sound very, well, European - there seems to be less attitude about peoples moral issues about things that don't concern them, there. Thanks for your amazing comment!
Foolish Monkey: So glad you had that help when you needed it, and that you can continue to raise the beautiful family you chose.
Hawley Rose: I don't know how Jesus would feel, but I like to think of his message as one of acceptance and love. Thanks for your great comment, and let me say how hard it is to stop myself from accidently running over protesters at times.
Thanks designanator - and give my thanks to your wife for her hard work. Many people point out how ludicrous is is to deny any funding for reproductive health, all in the name of making abortion illegal. I , personally, would put birth control into the juice boxes of tweens.
Tinker toy: You would be an excellent reproductive health counselor except for your tendency to run away from the subject at hand.
Scarlett: That is astounding. Thanks so much for introducing me to this pioneer. I feel lucky that people from Canada even want to bother with our country and it's backasswardness.
Thanks Razzle Dazzle: You're correct, and I am trying. How do you fight fire with just being right?
Thank you MrsRaptor: That is the core and soul of the debate.
Thanks Emma: I hate those terms as well. There's no such thing as an abortion doctor, and it's all reproductive health, and the wingnuts are anti-choice on many levels. Birth control is an obvious and good answer to the debate, but since they apparantley hate that too I'm not sure what is the next step.
mimetalker: I hope you also felt included when I talked about my friends who are thinking so much about it, as I was thinking of you and Joan particularly when I wrote that paragraph!
Elijah Rising: !! That is a dark and gloomy thought! Please let me know if I can help you find healthcare (I'm strangely good at it, given my work experience) and also I love the word languish.
jessica 213: YOU rock. I love this comment because I never want to make another excuse for doing something I am legally allowed to do.
Owl: That's an amazing insight from someone who has done the grappling! Maintain reproductive choice as we work to further general reproductive health? Wow! That will never work because it makes so much sense! little girls dance around singing "You goota put a ring on it!" while I mutter in the background that the condom might be the better thing to, well, don.
Granted, different places do different things..and they are definitely done much better now..but not always.
Abortion is a medicsl procedure best left between a woman and her doctor. No one has the right to get between the two.
TY Aim. Excellent post here.
Fusun: Thanks. I probably disagree because my premise is that it be though of as as a medical procedure...but I agree that it is not a good method of birth control. Unfortunately, birth control is not on the minds of many people who are against abortion, which sucks for them because they will endlessly argue about our fertility I guess!
LL2: Why don't they go help in your schools, for instance? Lots of kids to love, I'm sure. They could probably take a few home with them!
XJS: I think you have every right to talk about abortion and I also like your reference to entities!
Linda: It was not that hard, but thanks. The only people I don't tell about my abortions are the children in my life, and they'll get it when they're old enough. I am not ashamed.
Your giant hugs always warm me up a bit!
Elisa: I could replace this enitre post with your comment. You nailed it.
I'm glad you were there for your patients. I hope you have not suffered under those death threats by pursuing your highly trained and educated career. Thanks for giving a detailed look into what might occur during surgery.
thanks smokeysmom: I love that you get it from both perspectives: health care worker and patient. Thanks for commenting.
(I won't say anything that you and Satori1 can't say to each other beyond: thanks for having a good dialogue!)
Thanks Ablonde: I wasn't bothered by mimetalker's piece and in fact hope she knows that I am referring to her in "friends who feel differently" references.
It's not an easy subject, and I really appreciate the fact that you understand rejecting any shame attached to it. Once we feel ashamed, the moral terrorists will win.
No one I know who has had an abortion went about it as if it were a salad and martini lunch, but all are at peace with the decision.
Here in Westchester, safe blue-state territory, we have a clinic that it is the daily target of protesters, so that volunteers are needed to escort women safely into the clinic. For many of these women, it can be one of the saddest days of their lives, and these idiots have to make it worse? You're right, aim, the protesters should be doing something more valuable with their time, like helping in the schools. Something that could actually be construed as "pro-life."
I hope you understand that my piece today had *nothing* to do with religion and *nothing* to do with morality, but everything to do with my own tendency to think and feel deeply about things. I wrote out my thoughts, pushed "publish" and hoped I wasn't misunderstood. ~r
This is the KEY
How can you make a Law, if you are not aware of all the unique and individual circumstances that, truly, should enable and empower the individual concerned to make their own, INFORMED decision, under the conditions of their own circumstances and reasoning.
This is why I studied Social Sciences at a late age - because it is now, that all Rule Makers and religions need to see, that you do have to accept what is, what is that persons choice, and let it be.
Let it be their choice, your choice, I AM's Choice.
Some people don't eat bacon cos of sulphates.
I eat my own outdoor reared bacon san sulphates - tasty Breakfast.
No Chlorine in the water on my mountain stream - or fluoride.
You can live pure, you can get out of the rat race, the system, the rif raff, the scandal, the gossip, its your choice. Your Decision.
If you want it, here it is, come and get it. I AM I also let others live as THEY AM too, no Ham no problem I have pasta and vegetables in my store, and rice and herbs and fruit too.
Be fruitful, be happy, be you, be I AM
The fact that we are still fighting this battle enrages me. I am not doing much fighting anymore though. I am still angry about the way younger women treated me during the 2008 primary so they can fight their own damn battle now. I don't need safe and legal abortion anymore.
"If women choose this [abortion] it needs to be done humanely and safely. All life is precious. Including hers."
Re-reading my comment, I think it sounds cold and distant. I didn't mean it to be. My comments are often short and don't reflect the feelings behind them because I do them on work breaks and don't have time to expound (and I don't want them to be longer than the post...I could easily get carried away).
but what i will tell you is that what was damaging to the woman(en) in every single one of these instances, if there was damage, was the guilt she was made to feel by people who did not approve of her choice and felt they had the right to tell her that.
That being said that's my personal choice. I am also not your father, husband, lover or minister. When you time comes to an end it is you that will have to answer to whatever you believe in as a God.
The one person you don't have to answer to is me. Unless I am your father, you ask, or post something like this, you will not hear what I think.
For those who want to stand in front of a clinic, try to kill a staff member, or plant a bomb, you are as bad, if not worse, than what you are protesting.
Just a mans thoughts.
Now, that you have (mostly) finally figured out that two/to/too are different words (took you more than a year), try practicing you/your.
"Just a mans thoughts."
Then you can start on apostrophes.
man? ROTFLMFAO
Safe, legal and a minor medical procedure. For the woman. Not so safe or minor for the infant she carries within her.
Margaret Sanger
You are the perfect example of why we need abortion to be legal. To bad you mother did take advantage of it and flush you ass down the medical garbage disposal. She would have helped clean out the gene pool you are screwing up.
I apologize - I thought you had finally learned to=two=too , and you doesn't equal your.
you've flunked again - back to your urine soaked crib to study some more.
you speak English, like an as*hole from Siberia - no offense to as*holes, nor Siberia.