SEPTEMBER 24, 2012 8:26AM

Widow Dating

It's been a very, very long time since my last post. I started writing because I needed an outlet for my story, I needed someone to listen and you did, and I'm so grateful. 

Since the death of my fiance almost two years ago, I've had to learn how to live… Read full post »

2 Comments
MARCH 20, 2012 1:33PM

Why Didn't You Call the Police?

Writing has always been my best method of expressing myself. After my fiance's death I immediately found an internet forum support group where I could write out my experience and recieve comfort and support from other people going through similar experiences. My writing from that time is tragic, scat… Read full post »

10 Comments
MARCH 15, 2012 4:58AM

My Shameful Secret Joy

I have a boyfriend, please don't tell. I am so ashamed, what kind of woman am I? I love a dead man, I cry for him all the time, and yet I love someone else. 

I am afraid that you will shun me now. Think of me as a fake,… Read full post »
7 Comments
MARCH 13, 2012 5:04AM

To Every Season, Stop Turning

I'm excited about Spring this year. The rain and cold weather are hard, and the warmth on my skin makes me happy. When people tell you that time makes the grief more bearable it sounds unreal. How can time be anything but pain? Every moment is a moment without the person… Read full post »
9 Comments
Editor’s Pick
MARCH 11, 2012 7:44AM

Choosing Honesty, Telling the Truth About Suicide

When my fiance shot himself I was on the other side of the bathroom door. I was on the phone with the police, and when I heard the gunshot I ran from the apartment. Only moments earlier I was trying to wrestle the gun from his hands, I would have done… Read full post »
30 Comments
Editor’s Pick
MARCH 9, 2012 4:15AM

Weddingless Widows

About two weeks after his funeral I got a letter in the mail that would turn out to be my welcome letter into a very strange and loving community. The letter was from a woman whose fiance died just the year before, and he was the college roommate of my dead… Read full post »

27 Comments
Editor’s Pick
MARCH 7, 2012 8:34AM

Didn't you know something was wrong?

 

The conversation about his death always follows a predictable pattern. I guess it's good for me because I've practiced the same pattern of responses so many times that I can say them now without feeling anything. Similar to my PTSD therapy, once you've gone over and over a memory enough… Read full post »

20 Comments
MARCH 5, 2012 12:13PM

How? He Killed Himself.

On December 1st, 2010, after the longest day of my life, my fiance shot himself.  
 
In the past year I have fallen apart and been rebuilt, died and been reborn. I have made new friends who gathered me up in their sister widow arms, and lost people who I considered … Read full post »
6 Comments